


Logically, We're Family

by logicallycrofters



Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: FtM Logic | Logan Sanders, M/M, Trans Logic | Logan Sanders, Trans Male Character, Trans Male Pregnancy, analogical - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-03-30
Updated: 2019-07-16
Packaged: 2019-12-26 21:52:38
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 7,930
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18290957
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/logicallycrofters/pseuds/logicallycrofters
Summary: FtM Logan and cisgender male Virgil have been dating for ten months or so, and one night they sleep together, things don't go as planned. Logan thought testosterone would be a good method of birth control, but he ends up carrying his and Virgil's children.





	1. Even When You're Crying, You're Beautiful Too

**Author's Note:**

> There's a lot of descriptions of vomiting in this. If you're uncomfortable with that or trans male pregnancy, don't read this! It's alright if this isn't your cup of tea, I just found this an interesting subject to write about.

((This chapter's title comes from "All of Me" by John Legend.)) Logan nervously grasped the pregnancy test in his fingers. Somehow, he managed to oversee how testosterone wasn't an adequate form of birth control. He had countless questions, most of which regarded his boyfriend. 'What will Virgil say?' 'Is he ready to be a father?' 'Will my hormone replacement therapy harm the unborn child?' 'How am I going to tell Virgil?' Along with his questions, he internally groaned at the overwhelming sensation of dysphoria that would accompany him throughout the next nine months. Of course, he could abort the child if he wanted to, but something inside of him was telling him that he had earned this, and Logan was ready to be a father regardless of if he accepted that fact or not.

Logan debated internally for a while. 'It would be better to tell Virgil now before the realization sinks in, wouldn't it?' he pondered. He swallowed his pride and opened the door separating the bathroom from his and Virgil's bedroom. Logan leaned against the doorframe and inhaled. "Hey, Virgil?" He asked, twiddling the plastic in his knuckles. With no response, he brightened the light a little. His boyfriend was sound asleep, curled up after a long night. He decided to let it slide for the night. Logan was tired too, and he wanted to cuddle with his partner more than anything else in the world. Maybe for a night, he could get some rest without worrying about the new life growing inside of him. He tucked the needlessly feminine pregnancy test into a drawer in the bathroom. Logan could tell Virgil in the morning. He changed into his NASA pajamas and rolled into bed next to Virgil, who started mumbling sweet nothings as Logan rested his arm on Virgil's abdomen. Logan pondered telling Virgil while they were snuggling in bed together, but he decided against it and opted to tell Virgil once they were both fully awake.

The following morning, Logan was awakened by the unsettling urge to vomit. He rushed to the toilet as carefully as he could and scarcely made it before he began hurling into the bowl. Defeatedly, Logan sat back onto the tile floor and pulled the pregnancy test out of the drawer. He held it in his hands and stared at it. Tears started dribbling down his face, and soon enough he started sobbing uncontrollably. Virgil woke up to the sound of his boyfriend vomiting and crying. He pulled open the door and nearly choked when he saw his usually calm, cool and collected significant other on the ground. Virgil bolted over and knelt down beside Logan, his mind racing. His anxiety started bouncing off the walls and without thinking, he asked Logan questions at the speed of light. "Logan, are you okay? Did you fall? Do you need me to call an ambulance? Talk to me, please!" Virgil's eyes slowly drifted over to the positive pregnancy test between Logan's shaking hands. Logan tried to speak, but he could only start bawling harder. Virgil assessed the situation and stopped asking questions. He shifted his legs and began sitting in the same position as Logan. Virgil wrapped one of his hands around Logan's trembling fingers. He softened his voice and recalled his breathing patterns to soothe anxiety. "Alright, Logan. Everything will be fine. I'm here for you, love. Want to lean into me? If you match your breathing with mine, I can help you calm down much faster. Breathe in for four seconds, hold your breath for seven seconds- you're doing great- now let it out for eight seconds." 

Virgil was relieved his boyfriend hadn't fallen and wasn't hurt, but he was now aware of the elephant in the room. He cradled Logan in his arms and slowly rocked back and forth. Scared, his voice cracked when he tried to speak. “L-Logan… Why didn't you tell me?”  
Logan started sputtering incomprehensible sounds, and Virgil quickly realized that he would have to wait for Logan to calm down to a point where they could communicate. Without warning, Logan turned to the toilet and vomited once more. Virgil sighed. “Morning sickness? It's alright, I'm here for you. How about I go get you a bowl and move you to the bed?”  
Logan sat back down, looked up a little, nodded, and squeezed Virgil's hand.  
Virgil kissed Logan's cheek, then got up from his spot on the floor to go get a large bowl for Logan if he needed to vomit, and some comfort food. While Virgil was in the kitchen, Logan determinedly stared at the positive pregnancy test as if he could make it disappear. Virgil arrived back with one free arm to help Logan up, but Logan did not accept. He refused to break his penetrating gaze with the lines indicating he was pregnant. “Logan, I know it must hurt, but I'm trying to help you.” Virgil pried the plastic from his boyfriend’s hands which were still shaking. Reluctantly, Logan let Virgil put it by the sink and got up with his help. As Logan's legs were quivering and Virgil was anxious, Virgil decided to set down the bowl and carry his boyfriend to bed and tuck him in.  
“We'll need to go to the doctor, L, but first we're going to make sure you're feeling better. I grabbed some crackers, some water, a juice box or two, one of your heating pads for cramps, and some towels. I- uhh- don't know if this is any use but I did google some stuff.” Virgil sat down on the other edge of the bed so he could tend to Logan. “Can you keep down a liquid?”  
Logan spoke his first word of that morning with such uncertainty it startled Virgil. “I- I don't know.” Logan was usually so confident and knowledgeable, it was unusual for him to outright admit he wasn't sure. He seemed to notice the shock in Virgil's face, so he picked up his glasses and turned around to grab his phone. His head spiked in pain while his eyes tried to comprehend the bright light, and Logan's consciousness told him he couldn't take it right now. He gave up and put his phone back on the charger. As Logan started to gag again, Virgil lifted the bowl so Logan could reach it when he vomited. Virgil brushed Logan's hair out of his face and kissed him on the forehead, grasping his hand.  
“Lo, why didn't you tell me you were pregnant?” Virgil inquired. “You know I'll still love you no matter what.”  
Logan smiled at the lovey-dovey comment and began to formulate a response. “I didn't k-know until last night and you… you were asleep. I didn't want to wake you.”  
Virgil put the pieces into perspective and realized he wasn't finding out much later than his boyfriend. “I see. What do you say I schedule a doctor's appointment for Wednesday and we go see what Dr. Desmond has to say?”  
Logan nodded. He decided to reach for some crackers and a juice box. Virgil reached his hand behind Logan's torso and rubbed his back to soothe any pain. Logan finished a pack of crackers and a juice box when it all came back up into the bowl Virgil had set out for him. Trying to play it cool, Virgil said “Man, morning sickness is a bitch, isn't it? I'm going to go call the doctor and tell her what's up. That okay with you?”  
Logan nodded. Virgil squeezed his hand gently and stepped out of the room.  
“Hello? Er- is Dr. Desmond there? I'd like a quick word with her if she has a moment. Yes- thank you.” When the doctor picked up, Virgil reminded her of who Logan was and what was happening. He explained that Logan had thrown up four times and that the pregnancy test came back positive. He thanked Dr. Desmond and went back into the bedroom with Logan. “Lo, if you vomit any more I think we'll need to go to the doctor today. If not, Dr. Desmond did say she would like to see you tomorrow rather than Wednesday if that's okay with you. You know, since you're on testosterone and that could fuck with your reproductive system."  
Logan was clearly uneasy at the mention of his natural estrogen and how testosterone could potentially mess up his pregnancy. Virgil retraced his words and tried to rephrase the sentence to comfort Logan. "But you know, other dudes have done this, and they turned out fine. Everything will be fine. Uh... Do you have a headache? I read about some of the symptoms.” Logan nodded. “Alright, I'll let you get some rest, but I'm right here if you need me.” Virgil kissed Logan's forehead again and ruffled his hair. “You're doing great, L. Don't forget I love you.” 

Although Virgil tried to come off as if he was calm, his anxiety was giving him a hard time. All he wanted was for Logan to be happy and comfortable in this new stage of their life, but he couldn't help but think that he made a mistake by impregnating Logan. Both Virgil and Logan believed that hormone replacement therapy made Logan infertile, but they were proven wrong in one of the most shocking ways possible. The only thing Virgil could do was remind himself that this was about Logan, not him, and Virgil would stand by his boyfriend's side no matter what came their way. He stepped outside and quietly closed the door to the hallway. Virgil started pacing. Thoughts started swarming his head faster than they had when Logan was in his arms. Pacing seemed to help Virgil rationalize and come up with a good plan on how to help Logan through his pregnancy. ‘Oh fuck, what if Logan needs me right now? I'm just out in this hallway doing nothing useful.’ Virgil thought. He grew gradually more anxious. He made his way back to the doorway and peeked through the ajar door to check on Logan. Surely enough, Logan was sound asleep.

A few hours later, the sun had fully risen, and Logan was beginning to stir. He groaned quietly, alerting Virgil who was sitting nearby. Virgil spun around to make sure Logan wasn't going to puke, and that the bowl was there if he did. "Morning, sunshine. How are you feeling?"  
Logan disregarded Virgil's question and asked his own. "How long was I asleep for?"  
"'bout seven hours. It was five in the morning when you were up earlier. Now it's around noon. You look like you needed the rest though."  
Logan scoffed. "I could go down for another couple hours and hope this is all a dream. I suppose I need to get up and be productive. I would guess that this morning was a fluke and won't happen again, but on the off-chance that it does, I'll be sitting on the floor for a while." He started to get himself up out of bed when Virgil placed his hand on Logan's arm.  
"Woah, hey, where do you think you're going? I'm here to take care of you. You never answered my question. How are you feeling?"  
Logan rolled his eyes and sat back down. "I'm fine. Nauseous, but fine.  
Virgil sighed at Logan's usual dismissiveness. "Come on, Lo. Take a break for once, you could really use it right now. What do you say we have a movie night tonight? Just the two of us."  
"I mean, you're right. Something to get my mind off of whatever is happening inside of me right now would be ideal. I probably need nutrition, though. I simply cannot survive off of grape juice and crackers no matter how much I want to stay here in bed and have you wait on me hand and foot." Logan sat back on their bed, adjusting the pillow.  
"L, I'll help you out as much as I possibly can. I don't want you to overwork yourself. Besides, this will take some getting used to for both of us."  
“I would like to resume my day as if I was completely normal, but it seems you're not going to let me do that. Rest could possibly be nice but for fuck's sake, just let me get up and get some pudding."  
Virgil immediately sensed how tense and irritated Logan was, so he stopped trying to protest and let his boyfriend care for himself if he wanted to. Virgil realized he couldn't treat Logan like a small child, and Logan couldn't economically stay in bed for the next nine months. They would have to grow together and face challenges with courage and honesty. 

Logan came back to the room with a cup of pudding in hand only to mention he was going out to sit on the couch. Virgil gathered all of the supplies he had brought into the bedroom that morning and set them on the kitchen table. Logan laid down on the couch and found a position where his head ached less, and he felt less nauseous.  
"Hey Specs," Virgil called from the kitchen. "Want your heating pad? I know it's normally for menstrual cramps, but if it would be useful, I can bring it in for you." Logan didn't bother raising his voice as it would only make him more uncomfortable. "No thank you, Virgil," he replied. 

Logan's first day of knowing he was pregnant may have seemed unnecessarily dramatic, but the emotional struggle he went through was monumental for him. He had been nauseous for a while leading up to him taking a pregnancy test, but he hadn't thought much of it. Logan also noticed his chest tissue was more sensitive than usual when he put on his binder on previous days. Additionally, his menstrual cycle had stopped too, but he assumed it was the testosterone finally taking action. Logan was ecstatic about being five months on T, which lead to him being extremely disappointed when he came to the conclusion he would have to let his natural estrogen take control if Logan wanted to keep the child and his body safe. His spirits were exceptionally down when he realized it was from a foolish mistake a month or two ago when Virgil and Logan decided to be more careless in the bedroom. Logan would have to break through his headstrong nature in order to accept what was coming his way. Reluctant or not, he needed to accept help from Virgil too. 

Logan finished his pudding cup and nodded at Virgil as he threw the plastic away. He made his way into their bedroom and grabbed one of his binders out of a drawer. Logan slid the binder on, partially buttoned a flannel over it and pulled on some jeans. He was already in substantial discomfort; binding his chest wouldn't make a difference. He walked back into the living room and molded himself back into the position he was in before leaving. Virgil walked in with a bowl of potato chips and sat on the floor below where Logan was laying. "Want some?" Virgil offered, holding up the bowl to Logan's reach. Logan declined. When Virgil looked up at his boyfriend, he noticed Logan was wearing his binder.  
"Logan, I don't think you should be wearing that. I know it makes you feel better, but you might have to stop binding for a while just to keep yourself safe." Virgil cautioned.  
Logan rolled his eyes and looked away to hide the fact he was on the verge of tears. "I'll wear it until the doctor says I can't anymore. Virge, all I'm asking is that you let me be free in my body as long as I possibly can be. I recognize your concern, but I need you to trust me." Logan replied, his voice quivering. Virgil's heart dropped.  
"Oh, yeah. Of course. Sorry." Virgil scratched the back of his neck. He didn't appreciate being indoctrinated by his boyfriend, but he had to respect Logan's boundaries and trust that Logan would keep himself safe while coping with dysphoria. The pair sat in silence for another hour before Virgil started to fidget more and more. Finally, he got up and pulled on his coat. "If you don't mind, I'm going to head out and drive around town. Is there anything you'd like?"  
Logan shifted around on the couch, trying to clear his head. "Ginger ale? If you don't mind. I've heard that helps with things."  
Virgil nodded. "Do you need it right away?" Logan shook his head, and Virgil headed out the door. "Call me if you need anything, okay?" He blew a kiss, closing the door behind him. 

Virgil drove aimlessly for a while to distract himself, then pulled into a supermarket parking lot. Sitting in his car, he looked up what he could buy for Logan to ease his discomfort. Virgil was used to having Logan by his side when shopping. It wasn't easy for him to fill that gap solely with the hope that Logan was okay at home. He picked up some ginger ale, a fresh pack of crackers, yogurt, popcorn for their movie night and anything else on the list that could possibly help with morning sickness. Virgil opted for a self-checkout to evade questioning or even an eyebrow raise. He hurried out of the store after he paid and rushed to get home. Before heading to his house, he stopped at a DVD rental store and picked up Love, Simon to watch with Logan. Virgil pulled into their driveway and grabbed all of his shopping bags to carry with him in one trip. Unlocking the door with his keys in two fingers, he spotted Logan with the ice pack on his forehead. “Hey, L. I'm back. You alright?” Virgil asked nervously. Logan sat up slowly and removed the partially-melted ice pack. “Yes, I'm alright. I truly appreciate your concern but what the fuck do you have in all those bags?”  
Virgil smirked. “Nothing important. Just know that I'll be taking care of you better than you have ever been taken care of before. Now can I interest you in some ginger ale and the gayest movie of all time?”  
“Ginger ale? Sure. I'm presuming you rented Love, Simon for us tonight too?” Logan sighed, rubbing his head.  
“You bet I did.” Virgil got a glass, filled it with some ice and poured ginger ale into the cup for Logan. He waltzed over to Logan dramatically and set the glass on the coffee table. Virgil seemed to have so much energy, Logan was ironically worried. “Wow, you really want me to be as comfortable as possible with this? You do realize that this is going to last a lot longer than you think it will, and we're both going to be sick of it.”  
Virgil giggled, looking at Logan lovingly. “Might as well make the most of it, eh? We'll have tonight to ourselves.” He laid down on the other side of the couch. “Hey, if you're comfortable moving, you can come lay on top of me. I'm not sure if I'm comfier than this couch, but I've heard cuddling makes everything better.”  
Logan sighed and got up to go lay practically on top of Virgil. As Virgil was about six feet tall and Logan was only five feet and four inches, their cuddling dynamic consisted of Logan comfortably being held by Virgil who was laying behind him. “Wait a minute, I believe it would be best if I changed out of this binder. My apologies, Virgil.” He swiftly disappeared down the hallway and reluctantly changed into a sports bra and sweatpants. Logan got his first opportunity to look at his stomach knowing he was growing life inside of him. Still uncomfortable, Logan returned to sit with Virgil.  
“Oh, look at my prince!” Virgil cooed. Logan's face went red at the pet name, but he appreciated the affirming masculinity. After Logan got comfortable, Virgil held his hands in front of Logan's belly. “L, mind if I touch?” he asked.  
“Go ahead,” Logan murmured. Virgil's warm hands gently rubbed Logan's stomach so he could get a feel of the baby. Logan's bump was tiny, but it was there nonetheless. Virgil was filled with joy knowing they would have a child.  
“How far along do you think you are?” Virgil asked.  
“I’d prefer not to think about that right now, Virge.”  
“Right, right, of course. Sorry.” Virgil sighed. He didn't want to make his boyfriend any more uncomfortable than he already was, but he couldn't help but be curious. 

Logan had a particularly held-back sigh when something was troubling him, and with everything that had happened within the last day, his mind was full of worries. The aforementioned sigh seemed the same as any other to someone who hadn't spent much time with Logan when he was upset, but Virgil had been with him through some of his most emotional moments. When Logan first came out as transgender. When he got his first testosterone shot, all the way up to finding out he was pregnant. For Virgil, it was easy to tell when something was bothering Logan simply by the way he carried himself. Virgil ran his hands through Logan's hair and looked down at him. "Awh, babe, what's up?"  
Logan seemed a little caught off guard. "Huh? Nothing. I'm fine."  
"Come on, Logan. I can tell when something is bothering you."  
Logan huffed. "Of course you can. If you're really that worried, I suppose it wouldn't hurt to mention the massive amount of gender dysphoria I'm trying to deal with right now? Pregnancy is always female and feminine. Don't you think it would make me feel shitty about my body?"  
Virgil's face blanked. He was too busy thinking of how to care for Logan, he hadn't thought of the conflict his mind must have been going through. "Right. I mean, you're going to be a father regardless if you're carrying the child or not. But I know you'll make it through this. You're strong, Logan." Virgil grabbed Logan's hand and squeezed it, thinking of something to say. "You're the strongest man I know."  
As Logan didn't care for sentiment, he merely yawned and replied "Thanks, Virgil." Logan hated to show it, but Virgil helped him feel a lot better about himself.

Logan rolled over to face Virgil and was now resting his face on Virgil's chest. As much as Logan tried to stay awake and listen to the movie, he was fatigued beyond belief. His breathing became more relaxed, and Virgil's warmth comforted him as he dozed off to sleep. Virgil looked down upon his boyfriend and noticed Logan was still wearing a sports bra. He didn't want to wake Logan, but it was probably for the best if he didn't sleep while attempting to compress his chest. Virgil tapped his boyfriend gently on the shoulder, and his eyes fluttered open. "Lo, take your sports bra off if you're going to sleep." Virgil lowered his voice. "Please?"  
Logan mumbled unintelligibly, getting up to take his bra off. He didn't appreciate wearing one in the first place, but he was yet to have top surgery, and his chest was far too sensitive to wear his regular binder. While Logan was away, Virgil removed his shirt and set it on the other side of the couch. Logan came back in a simple tank top and laid in the same position he was comfortable in before he left. Logan didn't care to observe much of the movie, he just wanted to cuddle with Virgil as if everything was normal. Logan fell asleep shortly after he came back, and Virgil sat with Logan sleeping in front of him for the rest of the movie. Virgil nibbled on little bits of popcorn. By the time the film ended, Logan was fast asleep, and Virgil was confident he could pick Logan up and carry him to bed.


	2. Stepping Stones

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> authors note// im tired af and this has been sitting in my drafts waiting for a concise conlclusion to the chapter for centuries uhhh i feel like i'm forgetting to do something so just let me know and i'll do it when i have a chance to breathe :) stay frosty y'all
> 
> trigger warnings: vomit, swearing, doctors, transphobia, ((let me know if i need to add anything else!))

Logan uncharacteristically slept in for an extra few hours. By the time it reached 11 am, Virgil had decided to wake Logan up for his appointment, which he scheduled for 12:30. After getting dressed into a hoodie and jeans, Logan revisited the bowl he had vomited in the previous day. He groaned, leaning back into Virgil's side while Virgil wrapped an arm around Logan. "Everything's going to be just fine. After this, we should have a clearer vision of what to expect, right?" Virgil asked. He attempted to add a little more bounce to his voice to cheer Logan up, but Logan's sights were set on pessimism. Virgil rubbed Logan's back hopefully. "Today's going to be great. We'll get so much more knowledge! Aren't you excited?"   
Logan shrugged; his anxiety was getting in the way of any possible excitement. The pair drove in silence, Logan resting a hand on his abdomen as Virgil drove. 

As soon as they entered the office, a secretary greeted them both. She wasn't confused by two men until they checked in and saw the cause of Logan's visit. "Your next check-up isn't scheduled until January, nine months from now. Unless you're here for a... pregnancy test?"   
Logan tensed his muscles, clasping onto Virgil's hand. "Yes, that's why. May I remain in the waiting room until our appointment?"   
The secretary seemed to read Logan as a woman with short hair and let him through. "If you wish, ma'am."   
This time, Virgil tensed his grip on Logan's hand in an attempt to calm Logan down. He realized that this was precisely the problem Logan was trying to describe last night on the couch. As they walked through the door, Virgil whispered into Logan's ear. "L, it's alright. Dr. Desmond will be more understanding." It wasn't long until an assistant came into the room. Logan, almost forgetting he hadn't legally changed his name, was startled when she called for him.  
When they got in the room, Dr. Desmond greeted them and started asking general questions. “When did you last menstruate? How long have you been experiencing symptoms? What specific symptoms have you been experiencing?”   
She then moved on to questions more specific to Logan's situation. “When was your last testosterone shot?” After Logan mentioned vomiting several times, the doctor opted to check if Logan was dehydrated.   
“I may have to check your hCG and estrogen levels too, considering your last testosterone shot was a little over a week ago. While we're on the topic, it may be useful to mention that you may experience more intense symptoms of pregnancy due to the drastic changes in your hormone levels. Now, depending on how many children you're carrying, the amount of hCG can vary.”  
Logan’s heart sank as his body slumped in his chair. He had briefly pondered the possibility of him having twins, but he virtually ruled out that possibility. More children meant a bigger stomach and Logan wanted to be as inconspicuous as possible during his pregnancy. Dr. Desmond tested his hCG levels, along with his estrogen and testosterone levels. "Alright. Your hCG levels seem to be above average.” Rather than giving Logan the knowledge he wanted, the doctor referred Logan to another doctor nearby who specialized in pregnancies and had experience with transmasculine patients. She apologized for her lack of information and sent them on their way. They ended up scheduling an appointment with the new doctor for four days after their first visit.

After Logan and Virgil exited the office, they drove in silence just as they had on the way to the clinic. When they arrived back at their house, Logan and Virgil arranged themselves in their usual cuddling position to talk. Virgil started playing with Logan's hair. "That wasn't the conclusion you wanted, huh?"   
"Not in the slightest." Logan murmured. "I wanted to come out of that with more information on the whole situation, but now we have to wait until Friday.” Logan dug his head into Virgil’s chest and leaked a few tears. “Virge, I just want to know what’s going on. It hurts- It hurts not knowing what’s happening.”   
Virgil’s spine softened as he comforted Logan.   
“Lo, Lo, Lo,” Virgil stroked Logan’s back. “I love you, no matter what happens. I know this is cheesy, but it’s true. Now, we’ll know more on Friday. Plus, this doctor will treat us better- well, treat you better. They’ll gender you correctly. Isn’t that something to look forward to?”   
Logan’s expression lightened as he looked up at Virgil. He paused to gather some words. “Objectively, yes. But it’s still nerve-wracking to think I’m growing a child. Our child.” Logan was still crying, but Virgil managed to cheer him up a bit.   
Virgil looked around, sitting up and sliding off the couch. Logan turned around to question Virgil, but he had already slipped out of the room. Virgil returned with one of his favorite sweatshirts. He unfolded it and put it in Logan’s lap. Virgil smiled, kissing Logan on the cheek.  
Logan sat up, surprised. “Virgil? This is yours. It’s far too big for me.”  
“I know, Lo. But, like, you know how big hoodies can hide your chest? I thought this could hide your bump once it gets bigger. It’s really comfy too. It’s one of my favorites.”   
“You don’t have to give me your favorite hoodie, Virgil. I’ll survive.”  
Virgil pouted. “I know you'll survive… I just want you to be comfortable. If you want it, take it. I have more.”  
Logan reluctantly pulled the oversized sweatshirt over his shoulders. As Virgil sat back down, Logan turned over to him and kissed his lips. Virgil’s arm went around Logan’s shoulders, and they embraced each other’s presence, peppering kisses over their faces. They laid back down and whispered, “I love you.” Logan dug his head into Virgil’s chest, and the pair sat in silence for a while before Virgil caressed Logan’s hair and asked: “You excited?”  
“Hm?” Logan said softly.  
“You excited for us to be dads?”  
“I suppose so. I’m thankful we were friends before we dated and therefore got to experience our young adult lives. I won’t be able to drink wine though, kind of disappointing.”  
“Right, right.” Virgil sighed. “Sorry about the wine thing, and the child thing.”  
“What?” Logan took in a short breath. “What are you apologizing for?” He was tensing up, whether it be from stress or the conversation.   
“Lo, you know this is my fault, right? It’s my kid, and you’re left to carry them. You remember that night? Oh, of course, you remember that night. You know, you asked to just keep the toys in the drawer…”   
Logan’s tension built up in his hands. “Yes, Virgil. I’m aware. I had a great time, you did too. Now I’ll admit I was dysphoric while we weren’t using any prosthetics, but it was what I felt most comfortable with. We talked about this that night. We were both okay with it.”  
Virgil grasped Logan’s hand. “Yes, but I should have thought that this could happen.”  
“No, no,” Logan began to get restless. “I should have known my boundaries. Rather, I should have known the boundaries of HRT and my fertility. Don’t blame yourself, Virgil. It isn’t entirely either of our faults. If you don’t mind, I’m going to go visit the restroom. I’ve been nauseous for a while.”  
“Oh, of course. Let me know if you need anything babe.” Virgil kissed Logan’s forehead as his boyfriend got up. Virgil enjoyed the pet names, and he knew Logan didn’t mind. As Virgil had to trust that Logan would be alright alone for a while, he tuned in to The Office. As the episode continued, Virgil could hear sounds of Logan vomiting beyond the laugh track. Virgil had a hard time resisting the urge to go check on Logan, but deep down, he knew he had to let Logan figure it out on his own. To soothe his anxiety, Virgil told himself he'd check on Logan after the episode concluded. 

Soon enough, the end credits played, and Virgil rushed down the hall, peeking through the bathroom door cheekily. In an attempt to lighten the mood, Virgil smiled. “Hey, Lo. How's it going?”  
Logan ran his hands through his hair and looked up at Virgil from the floor in front of the toilet. His pale green face gave away the answer immediately, but he responded anyway. “In all honesty, it's a repeat of yesterday morning. Well, the vomiting part is. I'm grateful I'm not sobbing on the floor again, but that's in the past.”  
Virgil read Logan's expression quicker than Logan opened a book. He could tell Logan was uncomfortable, but he was unsure how to help. “Jeez, you're green as a pear. You want some ginger ale?” Virgil suggested.   
Logan nodded his head and smiled a little bit, trying to suppress his nausea. Virgil went back into the kitchen and poured some ginger ale into a plastic cup. He headed back into the bathroom, sliding on to the floor next to Logan. He handed the cup to Logan, kissing his cheek. Virgil was eager to show his affection towards his boyfriend, but Logan shook his head gently and motioned Virgil away.  
“Don't touch me right now, please. We can be affectionate later.” Logan stated, as confident as he could be considering how weak he was.  
“Right, my bad. Anything I can do for you?” Virgil retracted his hand and placed it in his lap. He felt awkward being asked to stop but respecting Logan's boundaries was even more important to him. Sitting back, Virgil had to recognize that if he and Logan were switched, Logan would be as supportive as possible. Logan's mind, on the other hand, was clouded with a straightforward plan. ‘Don't throw up,’ he thought, ‘If you do, don't do it again.’   
He took a sip of the ginger ale, letting it cleanse his mouth before swallowing. Only a few silent seconds passed before Logan had to turn over to the toilet again seeing as the ginger ale came back up.   
“I guess morning sickness isn't just for the morning?” Virgil pulled his phone out of his pocket to check the time. “It's er… 9pm sickness?”   
Logan glared over at Virgil and cleared his throat. “Pregnancy sickness can occur at any time of day.”   
Virgil stopped trying to make conversation with Logan and scratched his neck. “Right, right, right. Sorry, Logan. Is there anything I can do for you?”  
“No, I would prefer it if you left me in here alone. I’ll surely let you know if I’m in dire need of attention.” Logan snapped. He truly felt bad for aggravating Virgil, but he didn’t want to make Virgil see him like this. He didn’t want Virgil to go through the pain of seeing Logan in pain. “Please?”  
Virgil stood up and walked to the door separating his and Logan’s room from the bathroom. He took a quick look at Logan, closing the door behind him. Virgil put his weight up against the door, sighing. He coughed, trying to keep back tears. Virgil tried to seem tough while helping Logan, but it crushed him to know Logan was suffering and there was nothing he could do to aid. As he heard Logan retching, he rolled onto the bed and dug his face into his pillow. They both had to go through nine months of this, and the emotional struggle was already ripping Virgil and Logan apart. Virgil’s almond hair- still retaining flecks of purple- covered his eyes as he began to sob. When he first found out that Logan was carrying their child, Virgil was excited, but as time progressed, Virgil grew more and more anxious, pondering possible complications. If Logan happened to be carrying twins, he was automatically a high-risk pregnancy. 

Logan’s stomach finally settled down, he lifted himself up to the sink to cleanse his hands and face. He wandered back out to the kitchen, carrying his ginger ale cup. Logan decided to get a vomit bowl for emergencies and head back to bed. If Logan was honest with himself, he wanted to bury himself under the covers in the comfort of his bed, but he knew his body needed rest in a rational manner. By the time Logan arrived back at the bed, Virgil had collected himself and stopped crying. Though he was still sniffing, Virgil’s head lifted to greet Logan. “Hey, love. You feeling any better?”  
“Hardly, but I doubt my body has anything more to give,” Logan sighed, sipping his drink. “Rest seems ideal right now, don’t you think? We could both use a break.”  
Logan sat his cup on his bedside table, brushed his teeth, and changed into his pajamas Virgil, attempting to clear his mind and sleep, was oblivious to Logan about to meet his lips. Logan planted a soft kiss on his boyfriend’s lips, Virgil replying with the same gesture. Before landing on his pillow, Logan whispered: “Thank you.”   
Virgil’s lips curled into a sweet smile as the two drifted off to sleep.

The next morning, Logan awoke at eight to cook breakfast for the two of them, but he encountered Virgil at the kitchen island, slipping a scrambled egg onto the plate with toast and a blueberry waffle. Virgil looked up, startled. “Logan?”  
Logan’s amber eyes twinkled. “Virgil? What’s all this?”   
Virgil didn’t answer but made his way to the archway where Logan stood. He placed his hands on Logan’s hips and kissed his forehead. “Good morning, love.”   
“Mornin’,” Logan mumbled, “What’s this for?”  
“Just thought it might be a nice treat for you. You need food, nah?”   
Although Logan hated to admit it, he was hungry beyond belief given he had thrown up several times the previous night and hadn’t eaten since. “I- I mean, yes, but you don’t need to do this.”  
“C’mon Lo, relax. Let’s just take it easy? I know I’m not a fantastic cook, but I think you’ll enjoy this. Look, you’re even wearing my hoodie.” Virgil brought Logan in closer. “We should enjoy this period in our lives, right? Admit you’re enjoying this a little bit.”   
Logan blushed, looking up at Virgil towering over him. “Alright, alright, I can’t say I don’t appreciate you going out of your way to care for me. But, uhh- while we’re here I want to apologize for snapping at you last night. Whether I like it or not, it’s going to happen again. While I’m thinking clearly, I’d like to say I cherish everything you’ve done.” Logan’s eyes began to tear up. “What I’m trying to say is- despite what might happen- I love you.”   
Virgil was caught off-guard. Logan didn’t usually show affection, much less say ‘I love you.’ Virgil’s eyes started tearing up too, and he lifted Logan up to kiss him. As Logan returned the kiss, Virgil adjusted his grip and kept holding Logan up. He set Logan on the kitchen island, ruffling his hair. “Love you, Lo,” Virgil whispered. He stepped back to give Logan space, still smiling.   
Logan appreciated being taller than his six-foot boyfriend when he sat on the kitchen counter. He swiveled around to pick up the plate Virgil prepared for him. Digging the fork into some eggs, he asked, “Do we have any oranges?”   
Virgil pouted in an attempt to entertain Logan. “Mm, don’t think we do, why? You don’t usually care for oranges, no reason to buy them.”   
“First of all, falsehood. Second of all, I’ve been overcome with a craving for oranges. Care if we go out to the shops to get some?" Oh, and if you aren't bothered by it, could we go shopping for hoodies? I don't mind this new style as much as I thought I would. Though I do enjoy polo shirts and ties.” Logan blushed.  
“Damn,” Virgil teased, “I thought I had you into the hoodies. They’re comfy, yeah?”  
Logan nodded. “Very comfortable. Now, I’m going to finish this and then we can head out.”

Promptly after Logan finished his breakfast, Virgil started up the car. Logan pulled his phone out of his pocket after they left the driveway to research ways to suppress nausea and other pregnancy symptoms. Stopped at a red light, Virgil looked over at his boyfriend who was deep in thought. “Lo? What store do you want to go to?”  
“Hm… H&M?”  
Virgil raised an eyebrow. “Feelin' fancy, eh? H&M it is.” He smirked. Before the light turned green, Virgil leaned over to kiss Logan on the forehead. "Love you," he giggled. 

They strolled into the store and headed to the men's section. Logan picked out a few hoodies, looking for Virgil's expertise. He folded the hoodies over the crook of his arm and headed into the fitting room. Logan slipped on an aqua tie-dye hoodie and stretched out his arms. "What do you think?"   
Virgil studied Logan in the hoodie he tried on. "Hmm, what size is that?"  
Logan mumbled, "Small..."  
"Babe," Virgil cooed, "You barely fit into it as is, I don't think it'll do too great of a job covering stuff up."  
Logan pivoted back into the changing room and came back out with a larger, galaxy print sweatshirt. He pulled the hood over his head. “This one's a medium.”   
Virgil pondered for a second. “Better, better. I still think you could go bigger if you wanted, though.”  
Logan nodded. Sliding back into the changing room, he pulled on a gigantic black hoodie with small white stars scattered about.   
Virgil paused, making Logan anxious for what he was about to say. “No complaints from me,” he shrugged. “Looks good.”  
“Not too big?” Logan raised an eyebrow.  
“Nah. You'll want it to be big later anyways.”  
Logan lowered his voice, even though there was nobody else around. “What about after the baby is born?”  
Virgil clasped Logan's hands. “You can keep wearing it, or if you want to leave it in a drawer alone, we can do that too. Hell, I'd wear it if you wanted me to. But I know this will end up turning into more than a hoodie. It's your decision."   
Logan nodded, turning back to the changing room. He slipped on his other shirt. Before closing the changing room door, Logan adjusted his binder. Although his chest tissue was sore, he bound his chest anyway. Logan's hand met Virgil's, and he headed back to the display rack. "What do you say I get a medium in this one," he held up the aqua tie-dye sweatshirt, "and a large in the other two?"  
"Sure. I'm going to grab a jacket for myself and meet you at the checkout?" Virgil kissed Logan on the forehead and headed off in another direction. Soon enough, they reunited and hopped into the car.

Logan buckled his seatbelt and tilted his head up, looking at the roof.  
"What's the matter, L?"   
"Nausea," Logan mumbled.   
"Still want to go get oranges?" Virgil slipped his hand behind Logan's head.   
"No, let's just head home." Logan's eyes closed as he attempted to relax.  
Virgil's lips arched into a sympathetic smile. "As you wish."  
They both headed back into the house, and Logan sat at their dining table, resting his arms and forehead on the table. Virgil came over and started rubbing Logan's back, noticing his boyfriend's controlled breathing. "You feelin' alright?"   
Logan lifted his head and picked up his glasses. "No? Quite frankly I feel as bad, if not worse than I did on Monday morning,” He paused to compose himself, “You know, I am kind of embracing the ‘emo’ look through all this.”  
“Pfft, now you just need the hair.” Virgil teased.  
Logan ran his hands vertically through his hair so it would maintain its height. “You're the expert at that, aren't you? Go ahead, work your magic.”  
Virgil stepped back. “You want me to make your hair look like mine?”   
Logan nodded.  
“Oh, I- I can try, I guess.” As Virgil worked his hands through Logan's hair, he realized how long it was. He usually wore it pushed up in a way it looked shorter, but Logan's hair was slightly longer than Virgil's. Logan's face transformed into a smile as hair fell down over his face. He enjoyed the comfort of Virgil's hands, and he admired Virgil sharing a part of himself which he usually kept to himself.   
Virgil stepped back to look at Logan's hair and crossed his arms. “Have I ever told you how handsome you are?”   
Virgil's affection caught Logan off guard. “Wh- Yeah, I believe you have.” Logan planted his face in his hands, trying to stabilize himself. As soon as he realized he was about to vomit, he darted out of the room and down the hallway.  
Virgil heard him emptying his breakfast into the toilet and ran after him. “Lo! Lo, hang on!”

He assessed the situation and knelt down behind Logan, almost straddling him. “It's alright, Lo. Let me hold your hair out of your face.” As he grasped Logan's hair to pull it up, he noticed some of it was damp. The room went silent for a second, and Virgil shifted around to Logan's side. He lifted up Logan's chin. "Logan, are you alright?"   
Tears dribbled down Logan's cheeks, but he managed to remain silent. He leaned into Virgil, pressing his own chest against his boyfriend's. Virgil realized how flat Logan's chest was, and quickly registered Logan was binding. His face softened, mirroring the look he made when he found Logan on the bathroom floor earlier that week. "No wonder you're uncomfortable, love. Let’s get you out of this binder and into something more comfortable.”   
Logan sighed and sniffed.  
"Lo, come on. Your chest must be sore as fuuuuck."   
Logan glanced around the room, then back at his boyfriend. He knew he shouldn't fight Virgil on this issue. Virgil was right, Logan's chest was incredibly sore, and he wanted to take his binder off more than anything. He reluctantly pulled off his sweatshirt and his t-shirt. Logan stretched out his shoulders and yawned, causing Virgil to yawn. Logan maneuvered his arms in a way to slip off the binder and placed it on the floor.   
Virgil noticed how tight the fabric was while Logan pulled it off and stretched it between his fingers. “Oh god, this cannot be comfortable.”  
“No, Virgil. It’s quite agonizing if I'm thoroughly honest.” He paused, breathing steadily now. “But until I receive surgery to flatten my chest, this is what I must do.”   
“Uhh, no. I'm not going to sit here and let you damage your ribs and hurt yourself. Take it off for a bit, come sit on the couch with me, everything will be fine.”  
Logan rolled his eyes and picked up his clothes off the floor. After putting them on his bed, he walked out to the couch, still shirtless.

Virgil stood in the doorway, lovingly studying his boyfriend who had tuned in to the television. Virgil grabbed a blanket or two and wrapped them around Logan's shoulders. Logan tilted his head up and pressed his lips towards Virgil, silently asking for a kiss. Virgil cradled Logan's head in his hands and passionately kissed his lips. As soon as Logan tried to pull away, Virgil went back for one quick kiss, causing Logan's face to curl into a smile. Virgil sat down next to Logan, and as Logan leaned into his boyfriend, Virgil whispered, “Go ahead and get some rest, Lo. You deserve it.”


End file.
